I grew up to be a scared lil naive girl in a small town in the north.

people in my country are traditional and i've turned out be one. the province where i have lived was a perfect place for country  living.

time drags on each day, and i would always wake up to verdant hills and lush greeneries every morning.

the beautiful sunshine would greet my eyes, its golden rays warming my skin as it comes through my bedroom windows. a light breeze would brush against my cheeks sending chills down my spine.

my childhood was a memory of lazy days and long afternoons. i've tried laying my back on the grass as i watched the shifting of cotton white clouds across the blue sky. i just laid there figuring out the future that stood before me.

and i have walked on barefoot along narrow footpaths where leaves of plants moistened by the night rain fell by the wayside. the soles of my feet would usually get damp with the droplets of dews on them. 

my childhood dreams have remained trapped in my head. and i could clearly remember the first time they were made.

i have wanted to be a fine young woman, dressed in a white robe with a stethoscope around her neck. i have wanted to cure the sick and the dying.

i used to build dreams along roadtracks where towering electrical posts were lined up. the acacia tree found on the right sidewalk had become the sole witness to my heart's quiet daydreamings. it was a favorite spot for sunsets, when the sky fades with the light and the sun sinks lower into the horizon.

i always end the day blowing careless whispers to the wind, as my my mind drifts off with it. and as the view of the mountain behind a blanket of thick fog fades out into a blurry trace of mountain slopes and cotton-white clouds far off, i held on to the only hope in my heart: one day, i would be at the top, reaching for the stars. 

that dream never collided with reality. people in our village are drab and laidback and just like what other normal teeners do, i have lived life like one of them.

i have lived my teenage years the way i believed: in my young mind, life is slow and boring. and dreams are made for daydreamings.

on the sixteenth summer of my life, i learned about independence, freedom and growth for the first time. it has been kind of a blur, but the culture of the people in the city mostly challenged my sense of traditionalism.

i was kind of reluctant at first, resistant, as i refused to let go of the culture i have learned to embrace since birth.

but change gripped me rather stronger, and soon, i was seeing myself a changed woman.

i was suddenly outspoken as i learned to assert my rights and stood my ground. the timid girl in me just simply vanished into thin air. a new girl has suddenly emerged, battling her own strife. and it simply turned me into a fighter, a survivor, my own hero.

i haven't seen much of tomorrow, though i have planned out the days of my future well ahead of me.   

it used to be so bright as i see it in my head. full of promises, hopes and dreams. but there are things along the way that change your course one way or another. they seem to be some kind of unforeseen roadblocks that teenagers usually stumble upon.

and so i tread on not knowing what the future holds. i just cling